Recent News

Recent news and musings by the Catholic Center

 

How to help someone who struggles with porn?

Posted by on Feb 26, 2014 at 8:54 pm

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 

Pornography is a serious problem in our culture. I was talking with my FOCUS missionaries about how to help our students when they reveal they have a problem. These are important but not exhaustive tips to help you help them. You will encounter friends, disciples, and bible study members who struggle. This is a “triage.” Triage comes from battle field and emergency medicine. “What do I do to stabilize this patient so real work can commence?”

 

These five tips will help you to help them.

  1. Thank them for their hard honesty. Encourage them that they are not alone in their struggles. Their struggles do not mean that they are unloved or unwanted by God. Let them know that you respect them MORE now that they have revealed their struggles because this means they are trying to fight.
  2. Remind them that this is the first step in their path to freedom. It will take more steps, there may be steps backward, but it is a journey. Remind them you will gladly walk with them. Remind them of the freedom for manly/womanly excellence is at the end of their journey. This journey is possible and has been done by many.CA13081
  3. Encourage them to go to Confession and to simply name the sin. Father will not be appalled or shocked. Father hears confessions because he wants you to bring your sins to Jesus. Don’t speak around your sins, i.e. “I did bad things” but simply state them: I watch pornography x many times a week, I have never mentioned this before, etc.
  4. Equip them with tools for success. If the internet is their problem area, equip them with “Covenant Eyes” an online monitoring system (monthly fee). It doesn’t BLOCK sites but records them and then sends a weekly report to a chosen accountability partner—someone who will not be timid but ask you: “how are things going this week? Did something go wrong?”Another tool for success is becoming aware of the reasons why they go into porn. Is it to escape? To cover over feelings of weakness? To cover over feelings of anxiety? What? Try to address that problem as well. For example, some people get distracted, don’t finish homework, then get stressed out and so dive into porn.

    There are good resources too, such as Delivered by Matt Fradd or the Angelic Warfare Confraternity.

  5. Pray with them right then at the end of your conversation. Invite them, in a simple manner, to renounce the false pleasure of pornography. They can renounce it and cast it into the Holy Five Wounds of Jesus. Then lead them to invite Jesus more deeply into their heart. Invite them to experience the Father looking on them with love as they ask for healing.

No Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment